What happens when a friend or loved one reveals their character to you and it is full of holes?
When you pour your world into someone else’s cup, they will either pour their world back into yours or drink every last drop of your cup leaving you mentally, emotionally and spiritually drained.
This helped me become more aware of who I allow into my life and the environment that surrounds me.
There were two impactful people in my life who taught me this lesson: Kie and Stewart.
Kie seemed sweet and genuine.
I naturally opened up to her about the desire to save up for a house and finding a financially accommodating apartment. Kie suggested we become roommates because it seemed we had the same goals.
A little voice in my head kept saying “DON’T DO IT”, but I did not listen.
We became great roommates until she quit her job two months later. This was why that voice warned me.
Now I was sitting there wondering what to do if she could not pay rent?
Immediately, I became more minimal and worked as a part time Uber driver. I thought this would resolve things, but it was only the beginning.
I noticed Kie took advantage of my kind nature and her other friends. When I began to question her, it caused many arguments.
The final straw was when Kie tried severing my friendships which made me realize I could no longer trust Kie. I was so glad when the lease was over so I could have a peace of mind.
I forgave her and accepted her as a person, which did not mean we had to remain friends. This definitely taught me a valuable lesson about living with people you thought you knew.
Stewart was the perfect boyfriend…until he wasn’t.
He intentionally pursued me for a relationship and did everything a “perfect boyfriend” was supposed to do.
There was a woman he was very close friends with whom I questioned after watching their interaction. I confronted him about it, and he made me think I was crazy and insecure for doubting him.
After much contemplation, even in my discomfort of their friendship, I had a two week rule-if things are not resolved, I let it go.
Everything went back to normal until the summer, and I noticed a significant change. Stewart grew distant, and his words were contradictory.
I asked what was going on yet Stewart would say everything was okay…until suddenly he expressed he was in an unhealthy relationship with me and said we should stop seeing each other.
I tried to get us to talk about it, but he avoided the conversation until he was done with us. He finally spoke and made it seem that I was at fault.
This affected me financially and I could not understand what was going on until I heard that same little voice say “There is something Stewart is not telling you”.
Later, I found out Stewart had many girlfriends.
This shocked me because we were around each other all the time. How did he have time?
Every week after praying and fasting, I heard through others of the countless number of women Stewart was with while with me, including his“close” friend I suspected. Immediately, the trust was lost.
Everything about us felt like the fakest things ever imposed on me because I did not trust God’s voice.
I had a choice-I could do some unspeakable things to Kie and Stewart, or I could talk to God and a therapist to learn about being aware of the people with whom I surround myself.
I exposed Stewart, but I chose the second option and have lived a very happy life afterwards.
Wisdom Nuggets!
Be aware of your environment especially when that little voice, a.k.a. the Holy Spirit whispers and listen carefully.
Guest Blogger: Eryn Murray
Eryn Murray is a native of Lexington, KY. She graduated from Murray State University with a B.A. in Theatre & Spanish and received a M.A. degree in Spanish from Georgia State University.
She is a published author of two books, Pensive…Part 1:Relationships and Window in the Mirror. At a young age, writing became a passion of hers. Eryn currently resides in the D.C. area and is currently developing some upcoming works. She enjoys movies, wine and tacos, and dancing salsa.