“I’m not single, I’m complete!”: Here’s why I’ve chosen to stop dating.
Since I was a young girl, I’ve been in love with love. I used to plan out my dream wedding before I could even ride a bike!
The decor, food, guests, music, venue, wedding party, I penciled in the back of my mind and made sure to leave room for future bae. I could even picture what I’d hope he would look like.
The idea of having someone to love all of me all the time made me eager and I expected every guy I encounter as Mr. Right.
Therefore, whenever I dated someone I would think this could be him. Don’t ruin it this time, BG!
Listening intentionally to what they desired in a woman I would try to make myself into that person. Of course, each relationship came with different standards.
If they wanted a woman who cooked, I cooked!
If they wanted a woman who’s smart, I studied!
If they wanted a woman who partied, I partied!
If they wanted a woman to be spontaneous…well you get the idea. 😃
I only thought my chances at a happily ever after would come sooner by simply giving them what they wanted. Often, I would sacrifice pieces of myself, so the guy who I dated could feel complete enough to love me.
Like the women in the Hollywood movies or princesses in fairytales, I wanted to experience a long lasting love by generously giving all of me in dating. And, if one relationship didn’t work out, I would soon find another.
You can say I was a serial dater, ha!
Here I am now in my late twenties and I can honestly say this has been the first season in my life where I haven’t dated: No calls. No texts. No dating sites. No outings.
When I found myself feeling Single, Again earlier this year, I told God I would trust Him with my desire of marriage and allow Him to complete me for my husband to come. Even if the season required for God and I to only be with one another!
Let me tell you Honey Bunches…it hasn’t been as easy as it sounds.
It’s kind of like traveling back in time to learn something you’ve already experienced. Only this time you are learning to do it the right way.
Since having this time with me and God, I’ve realized dating is no longer for me.
Now, I know many of you are thinking:
But, I want you to read the following with an open heart as I reveal to you why:
Our pursuit in God will attract what’s meant to be.
In this time of no dating, God has been performing a thorough healing of my heart. He has revealed to me that I do not need to give myself to anyone for them to be complete that’s His job!
Similarly, God is revealing to me that it’s possible to find love through intentional friendship. Like the first couple ever, Adam and Eve, God’s design for marriage didn’t require a period of dating.
God created Eve for Adam and joined them to be together. (Genesis 2:21)
Likewise, God shown me in dating it was difficult for me to enjoy the things I loved, because I would mostly try things the other person found interesting. On the other hand, as I find community through intentional friendship there’s no pressure to cave into something that doesn’t interest me.
This season is leading me to live life full and complete doing what God planned for me with no pressure into haphazardly ￼searching for Mr. Right.
And, I’m believing God will join my husband and I together in His divine timing!
(I look forward to meeting Paul soon😄)
The more time you spend casually dating the longer time it will take to find your spouse.
Give yourself time to allow God to heal what’s broken.
We don’t have to date to be married. We do need to have intentional relationships before saying, “I do.”
Began to start praying for your future spouse. It will help give you both strength during the waiting process! ❤️
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