Falling in love with ourselves isn’t as beautiful as a Disney princess movie!
Especially, if we have allowed other’s perceptions to manipulate the vision of what we see in ourselves.
Some times it takes a messy situation for us to realize just how beautiful we really are.
This post is the final piece of a post series titled, Mirrors. The series Mirrors is based on the topic of self-love.
Once you checked out those blog posts, come back to receive today’s Nuggets!
Trust me, you don’t want to miss out!
Now, let’s continue into Mirrors Part III…
Learning to love ourselves can be painful at first.
I remember sitting on my dorm room bed during my sophomore year at college.
I’d finish taking what was left of an ibuprofen bottle while forcing down my drink of choice at the time, Hennessy.
Never had I ever thought I would find myself feeling so low again!
I’d blame myself for continuing a romantic relationship that I should have never started.
The individual and I ended up getting into a heated argument that led to the person to physically hit me.
The pain became so overwhelming I decided that drinking and taking pills would erase every emotion I was feeling.
Every part of me was broken and I didn’t care what would happen to me.
Memories began filling in my mind from the very first low point I’d ever experienced.
The insecurities of me remaining silent started to deepen my pain. (View blog post, “Hurt, Now Healed”)
As I finished what was left of the pint, I remember thinking, “I’m so stupid.”
Apparently, I blacked out due to me waking up and hearing loud bangs at my bedroom door. “Breonna! Breonna! Breonna, are you okay!?!”
I got up from my bed, headed to open my door, and discovered my former roommate looking at me as if I was a ghost.
At the time, I’d only hoped I was.
Later in the evening, I was surrounded by classmates, friends, sisters, Sorors who all expressed great concern by my actions.
Of course, I knew they all loved me; I just didn’t know how to receive something I couldn’t feel within myself.
Facing our mirrors starts the process of self-love.
About a week later, I found myself feeling low again.
Though I had people consistently checking on me, I would only feel okay when they were in my presence.
The moment they would leave I would feel an empty space within myself.
There was something I needed to do to make me feel complete.
At the time, my relationship with God wasn’t as strong, so I looked to YouTube!
I’d stumbled across a video with an overly excited girl saying how she’d fell in love with herself by saying “I love you” in the mirror every day.
At the time, I was desperate to try anything!
Therefore, every day any mirror I saw my reflection I would look myself in the eyes and say, “I love you, Breonna!”
At first, it was extremely awkward.
In the back of my mind, I could still hear different conversations of the past I had with family members and classmates.
These certain conversations had negative comments and I’d subconsciously accepted their words as if they were true!
Comments like “You need some more meat on your bones!” “Go make another plate!”
“Stop looking at yourself!”
“You being conceited, always looking at yourself in the mirror!” would make it sometimes difficult to not get emotional during those daily mirror visits!
1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace towards me was not in vain;
Every time I approached a mirror and said I love you, I knew there was some supernatural form helping me to see what was true: the real me.
I now acknowledge it was God’s grace revealing what He saw from the moment He created me.
Learning to love ourselves may get a bit overwhelming.
If we feel an emptiness inside of ourselves, we need to acknowledge it and seek guidance!!
God’s grace is not in vain!
He wants us to accept who we are and love on ourselves!
When we find love within ourselves, we are not only able to feel the love!
We learn to give love and we become ready to receive it from others!
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